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Old 05-11-2009, 03:45 AM
marianna marianna is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 17
Default Also new to poly

i'm very new to poly, in a quad, and the newest on the scene. The first month or so was awesome - real life kicked in after that and basically the "shiny" wore off. i find that i'm envious, feeling a bit taken for granted, and feel like i'm waiting around for whatever time is left over for me. i'm honestly not liking those parts so much. In addition, due to schedules and distance, i haven't been able to build the relationships that i would like to try to build with numbers 1 and 2. i think that would really help, and again the problem is with schedules and other external factors.

Any insight would be helpful because i find my moods are just running me over, i go from being at peace and happy and understanding to questioning everything, every word, etc. i'm certainly willing to give it more time for equilibrium to settle, and there are other extenuating circumstances that really no one has control over that are strongly influencing the time thing. Suggestions? Insight? i feel like i'm trying to navigate in the dark at the moment, and i haven't found a way to figure out
1. how to exactly figure out what my feelings are since they change so much and 2. How to deal with them once i figure out what they are. Some of them are completely internal to me, and i have to manage them myself (baggage and all that crap that really no outside soothing will help, i know this from experience and i am ready to tackle this). But this internal seesaw is driving me nuts.

thanks -
mari
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