I'm trying to figure this all out as well. I've been introduced to the idea of 'open relationships' after having been married for many years. I've met someone who is in an open relationship with his girlfriend and he asked me if I'd be interested in exploring polyamory.
Honestly, I am interested in exploring the polyamorous lifestyle but I've had moments of sheer confusion about it.
The guy I'm involved with is new to it as well. Interestingly, he decided to try polyamory after his girlfriend hinted about it. I'm trying to create a friendship based relationship with him as that is the most important to me, with this guy. I'd also like to have sex with him, so in a sense, I'd like a 'friends with benefits' relationship with him, but with friendship being the foundation. I'm not in it with him JUST for sex. I've told him that and he understands that.
The thing is, he thinks it's great being polyamorous because he said he can 'flirt his ass off and it's great'. Ok, so what does that mean, exactly?
I know that guys think very differently to women, so I think that's why I'm frustrated about this relationship I'm in with him, but at the same time, I'd like to persue a friendship relationship with him as that's most important to me.
Anyway, I've not really asked any questions here or mentioned any relation to your situation, per se, so I guess I'm sort of venting also?!
If you read this and have anything to say or any advice, I'd appreciate that.