Stick to you guns. You have every right to meet the new person in your gf's life.
IMHO, her refusal to meet you is a backhanded way of being in charge of the situation.
What is she afraid of? Meet at a Starbucks for 10 minutes. That way, you are not stuck waiting for a meal you ordered or something.
Good luck, girl. You can get thru this!
still trying to figure it all out...
Married Bi-female in a poly-fi triad with Girlfriend Pinky1223
and Hubby - Poppa