Originally Posted by Feedhercandy
I understand that those who are worth it will wait, but I'm finding it hard to flirt and have fun and get to know people, with the expectation of sex being so imminent and heavily-weighing at every turn. I'm starting to think that with poly, since people know you CAN have sex, they expect that you WILL have sex after the smallest expression of interest. Or am I just misreading this whole thing?
Poly people are all over the board. I'm the sort of guy who, at this time in my life, really wants to get to know a person and find out what potential is there for a wholesome, whole relationship. Sex is great; I love it, but even better is real loving, a lot of care for one another, and what I might call heart-gasms. Crotch-gasms are great, too. But I'd rather have a heart-gasm, with or without a crotch-gasm, than just a crotch-gasm.
Point? Sex isn't as important as loving is. It's great, sure. But loving is better. And the two together? Fasten your seatbelts!
If you're clear on what it is you want and need, just make those signals clear to whomever you're hanging out with. Things should go fine if you do.