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Old 07-08-2011, 09:37 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
Casual sex is part of poly for me.
Exactly. Part of poly is not the same as poly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
However "It's just not what polyamory is" without adding 'for me' or something similar does exclude me and my ideas about poly.
No it doesn't. The fact that poly is not the same thing as casual sex does not negate the fact that poly people can include casual sex in their lives. It doesn't exclude anyone's idea of how to live polyamorously to point out that there is a distinction between what it is and what something else is.

Quote:
Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
You define poly as loving more than one person. For myself, I define it as more of a continuum that can range widely from casual to poly-fi relationships.
I'm not defining it. I am going by what the word means. Of course being polyamorous can include casual sex or polyfidelity, or whatever else is in between. It is an umbrella term. The Ravenhearts, who actually coined the term polyamory define it as: "The practice, state or ability of having more than one sexual loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved." I have loved people whose interactions with me were very casual and I have even felt love for someone who was a "one night stand," so I know that casual sex does not preclude love or polyamory. All I am saying is that they are two different things. One is not the other. You said you agree, so I don't see what the problem is.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 07-08-2011 at 10:21 PM.
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