Originally Posted by nycindie
I'm not saying that someone who lives polyamorously can't also include casual sex in their life, but they are two different things. Polayamory is loving more than one, and casual sex is, well, casual sex. We're talking about fucking. One does not have to preclude the other but they are not the same thing. That's all. At no time did I say that there is only one way to do poly.
I agree they are not the same thing. Nor do I think that you believe there is one true poly way. In fact I said so in my post.
You define poly as loving more than one person. For myself, I define it as more of a continuum that can range widely from casual to poly-fi relationships. I also place more emphasis on the ethics of poly rather than focusing mostly on the love part. Your definition works for you. Mine works for me. I'm not interested in telling you what your definition should be.
However "It's just not what polyamory is" without adding 'for me' or something similar does exclude me and my ideas about poly. Casual sex is part of poly for me. That doesn't mean it should mean the same to you or anyone else or that you agree with me.