The answers to your questions are buried in this category: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=5
You realize, of course, that the opinions/rules/comments that someone posts may change--- as they get more experience or different partners.
Keep reading... I know many don't like the primary/secondary/tertiary designations. They are useful. I realize everyone wants to be equal... but Some are more equal than others (thank you, George Orwell).
I am a secondary in a triad. My couple has been together for almost 17 years, married over a decade. They are emotionally, financially, legally and morally tied together. I've known them for about a year, have dated them for 9 months. They've always been poly, so they are far more experienced at this than I am. And frankly, this relationship has been quite emotionally smooth...
"Fully polyamorous?" That almost seems judgmental-- "I'm more polyamorous than you...." I love hearing about the variations in poly. This is a journey, it sounds like you've reached the destination.
You're talking about philosophical poly... which isn't as interesting to me as practical poly. We can sit around and imagine what it would be like...but real life is better.