Thread: Smitten.
View Single Post
Old 07-08-2011, 07:21 AM
Djinni Djinni is offline
New Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 4
Default Smitten.

I'm reasonably new to polyamory, and have longed for a female partner who would make up the parts of my world that were missing.

She exists. My husband and I have sought partners outside our open marriage and have yet to make a deep connection, but this week we did.

Here are my problems:
1. Being new, I'm being probably too honest... I like her, a lot, and have told her so. I'm having to dig down in some self-restaint to not text her right now! Is it wrong to want to see her again, but also want to give her some space? she is very independent and has many partners. I want to command an appropriate portion of that time.

2. She is worried about my 'primary' relationship and respecting it's boundaries. I have told her how I feel about boundaries.. That my world does not end where my husband's begins.. Instead I consider anyone spending time with me intimately #1 (or +1 or +2). how do I communicate this without being pushy?

3. Who am I to judge since my poly life has only been the last 3 months(built on a 5 year hetero marriage and otherwise lifelong gay-only history), but she is very young and has lived the lifestyle intensely for the last year. There's a tiny worry in my mind that she will bore of me and move on to her other partners. How do I reconcile my place in her world? What questions can I ask to let her know I need to know my place?

What a weird place I'm in. Thanks in advance for your advice.
Reply With Quote