try this sticky found at the top of the "new to polyamory" section
We had a thread about this before I think. I can't find it... not tagged I guess. I think I was thinking of this one actually How you changed when you opened to poly?
I came out as poly back when it was called non-monogamous around these here parts. I was a lesbian living with my then wife. We decided to open our relationship to other women and I found a man instead. We tried to live as a triad together and then as a vee, but she was mono and I wasn't and neither was my boyfriend, now husband. She moved on to other things and stayed very close to us both after some major work together.