Any suggestions for a young newbie?
Iím brand spanking new to the forum and polyamory so I thought I would reach out with some details and ask for a little advice.
The ability to be in love with two people at a time always seemed to be common sense to me. Moreover, I remember reading about polygamy and watching documentaries and thinking that without the religious aspect and with a little adjustment something similar to that dynamic could really work for me.
Last year I met a man and intended to have a friendship with him as he made it clear he was in a monogamous relationship. However, our relationship soon developed into love and we both acknowledged that. He told me ďIím in love with her, and you, but I donít believe in polygamy,Ē We needed to shut off all of those feelings. As if I could do that. Thatís when I began to seriously consider whether monogamy was a good choice for me, as I couldnít understand why someone would shut off such a strong connection as ours. I mean, I understand that it wasnít the right choice for him, but if I had been in his position I would not have been able to take the monogamous course as he did.
Just recently, I began a relationship with another man, and asked whether he would be okay with us both having romantic relationships with other people, but he said he would find the jealousy difficult to deal with. So, I feel as those I pressed those desires away. When our relationship didnít work out I wondered why I had repressed myself at all. I now feel ready to actually try this.
However, Iím rather young, 19, and am having some trouble finding people in my area open to polyamory. As well, because Iím not terribly sure of myself I worry about hurting people by deciding itís not for me. Through common sense and lurking among you here I think many would suggest that honesty and communication are the key, but do have any other advice for me? Or, suggestions as to how to find people?