i feel ya!
I am currently in an abusive relationship. It has been physical, but due to incarceration etc. this person is now only emotionally and verbally abusive.
It's all about control. This person is controlling you through the phone. I have been reading site after site and horrific story after another. This person doesn't have to change at all because you are allowing him in. You feel sorry for him. It's codependency. I'm not accusing you of anything accept being a caring and understanding individual. I am that person. I see my mate as broken and in need of my support. He literally makes me crazy with his accusations of cheating and constant questioning of my every move. Abuse is all about control. I consider myself a martyr for staying in this relationship. Everyone I have read or spoken to says that cutting off the relationship(move, change number) was the best and most liberating move they ever made. I only hope that I can have the courage to keep this guy moved out next time I kick him out. You have to realize you are in control and responsible only for you. You are important and your happiness is important. Just like some of the people who spend their lives in and out of jail changing is not easy. And some people do not have the skills, opportunity or intelligence to change. Good Luck, he will survive without you. you don't have to be a victim and you don't have to suffer for someone's psychological issues. Not everyone is a fixer upper that can be fixed. cheers.