I love the success stories but I'm not a polyanna, either (haha on the poly pun)
It's hard to hear the bitter side of it, but pretending it doesn't exist is not exactly realistic, is it?
It is easy to see from D's original post how poly can be interpreted by a mono partner. It helps to make me more sensitive to my husband's feelings.
I only have a minute to post but one thing I did want to comment on was the whole, "It's not you, it's me" concept. Although you got the impression (and I guess the explicit message???) that is was YOU. Nonetheless, I think it's always some sort of mixture, is it not? Be the best you that you can be -- what else can you do?