Thank you, Gem. Very thoughtful reply and very helpful. Causing another pain is so hard to deal with sometimes, even if unintentional. Mono spouses don't always understand everything, no matter how supportive they try to be.
The best thing I think I can do is to learn to be comfortable with what I am and then perhaps some of that guilt will fade away. Having kind people like all of you who have replied to help me is certainly reassuring that I'm not alone on this journey.