Originally Posted by SNeacail
I was refering specifically to the senario of one spouse saying "I'm poly and have always been this way, and this is how things are going to be...". Just the whole one-sided ness of that type of statement doesn't sound like it comes from a healthy relationship to start with. There's no denying that even in healthy relationships thing can get turned upside down and ass backwards very quickly.
It was presented as speculation, so I piped in to say I have seen it happen. In that exact scenario. Also seen it happen in online stories. Repeatedly.
When people are fearful, they can deny things for many years. Sometimes a lifetime before they admit it to themselves or others. That why they can be in a healthy marriage, as neither party has outward admittance of it.
The trouble is, people can also THINK they were a certain way in hindsight, as they pick and choose what they want to see. Those ones tend to have some instability.
I think it would be wise of people to acknowledge, the darker side of poly. Rather then dismissing what Dingedheart says, due to his personal issue.
Seeing/admitting the darker side of poly, and the emotional toll it takes, can only help well-meaning people do better, and think before they act.