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Old 07-07-2011, 01:02 PM
Aleighagurl Aleighagurl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: NC, USA
Posts: 7
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@Black Unicorn:

Thank you for your reply! Let's see if I can format my response correctly.

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Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
How long has this continued? Is there still physical touch and non-sexual intimacy? Do you still have sex where he caresses you etc. despite his lower libido? Has he always been this way or is there a specific point in time when his interest in sex started to wane? Have you tried things like going on a getaway together or breaking the routine in some other way?
Ever since he began a certain medication of which lower libido is a common side effect, so for about 1.5-2 years. We still hug and cuddle...less than we used to but that intimate touch still exists, thankfully. The routine is hard to break because of our jobs, but we've started date evenings which I hoped would lead to sex nights but that didn't really happen, but the dates are, nonetheless, a quite wonderful to our relationship. It's so easy to get caught up in the passivity of it all after so long together, you know?

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
I suspect a lot of his insecurity has to do with the fact of your infrequent sex life and the fear that if you truly are gay, you will eventually want to end the romantic aspects of your relationship with him in favour of the woman in your life. What kind of juggling have you had to do thus far? Have they talked with each other, met each other? Do you have a regular date schedule?
That insecurity makes a lot of sense; is there a way I can convince him that he is still precious to me and I want to be romantic without pressuring him for sex (which I used to do and he would complain about).

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
What kind of juggling have you had to do thus far? Have they talked with each other, met each other? Do you have a regular date schedule?
I've tried to schedule to spend the night with one or the other and right now its her two nights a week and him the rest which is okay by me since he will be moving to a new job (a couple hours away) next month and I will only be able to see him on weekends. (I'm not extremely worried about this as we've sailed through the long-distance thing before but I AM worried that I might become clingy toward or over-dependent on my new girlfriend).

The met each other once, and we all went out to dinner together. That was a task in and of itself! I had to think about things I've never had to worry about before...like who pays for what, where do we sit (and why tables are preferable to booths), and even who I look at, who's hand I hold (in anyone's)...it was very taxing but I think they got along fine. If you have advice on how to be inclusive when you're out with more than one person that would be much appreciated as well.

Thanks again!
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