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Old 07-07-2011, 06:23 AM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 906

Hello and welcome to the forum!

Originally Posted by Aleighagurl View Post
Our biggest issue? Our sex life is dying. Partly because we are in this routine of gentle supportive love only, partly because his libido is lower than mine, and partly because (while I still do have the desire to be intimate with him) I am considering that I may actually be gay rather than bi.
How long has this continued? Is there still physical touch and non-sexual intimacy? Do you still have sex where he caresses you etc. despite his lower libido? Has he always been this way or is there a specific point in time when his interest in sex started to wane? Have you tried things like going on a getaway together or breaking the routine in some other way?

Originally Posted by Aleighagurl View Post
I'm pretty sure that makes me polyamorous but I think both of them are mono and I feel like I'm being, well, kinda greedy.
Never having been in a mono/poly-situation myself, I think that as long as everyone is getting what they want out of the relationships, and everyone has the freedom to pursue other interests if it turns out they are not so mono after all, it has nothing to do with you being greedy and everything to do with you being yourself. At this point, like you said, it would cruel and unfair and serve no purpose to dumb either one for the other.

Originally Posted by Aleighagurl View Post
He doesn't understand that, he needs to be the best, to be loved the 'most', to be the one and only primary. But on the other hand, she needs and deserves commitment and stability and not to be drug along the sidelines. I feel like I'm the middle man in this juggling act and the uncertainty of where my relationships stand is stressing the heck out of me.
I suspect a lot of his insecurity has to do with the fact of your infrequent sex life and the fear that if you truly are gay, you will eventually want to end the romantic aspects of your relationship with him in favour of the woman in your life. What kind of juggling have you had to do thus far? Have they talked with each other, met each other? Do you have a regular date schedule?
Me: bi female in my twenties
Dating: Moonlightrunner
Metamour: Windflower

Last edited by BlackUnicorn; 07-07-2011 at 06:28 AM.
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