Originally Posted by VeronicaE
1) Where in the forum can I read about the practical aspects of starting up without hurting anybody?
In order to open the relationship without unnecessary pain and suffering, it is necessary that the communication be excellent between you, as well as the loving itself. When your husband felt hurt, he had a very particular fear or concern, and if you can help him to examine and work with that very specific worry or fear, you might help him to realize that it is illusory.
If, for example, he's afraid you're going to run off and leave him for another, listen with empathy and love to this fear, take it in, empathize, and with an open heart and heartful eye contact..., tell him that you love him completely and that you never want to lose him. (If that's true.) If it is true, he will feel that truth. He'll perhaps be willing to collaborate with you on addressing his own fears and concerns. And so on....
And, yes, I've been practicing this way with my own partner of many years as I begin to explore a new loving relationship. It's working. He knows I love him. He knows that my love for him cannot be divided and thereby diminished. And he's quite happy for me--sharing in my own happiness in loving more.