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Old 07-06-2011, 08:32 PM
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Carma Carma is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 478

Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post


Thanks you for the comments ....Didn't things like what I posted get said in your house? How different was it. Do you have kids? I know I listen to the intellectual arguments but went along with it for the kids sake. Does your husband post here?
YES these things have probably ALL been said in my house, or at least thought or felt or implied!!!!

I think most of it is the implied stuff that made me feel the sting. I would hate to think I was sending some of these messages to my husband, but I know damn well that I have, unintentionally. The pain he has endured makes me feel conflicting feelings -- one, awe and gratitude that he loves me so much he is willing to sacrifice for me, and two, terrible guilt that I have put him in the position to make that sacrifice. He is making the best of the situation and mostly it is because YES we do have kids.

My husband says he is usually ok with it intellectually but emotionally, he struggles a lot with it. We are both really into psychology and heady stuff, so some of the challenges of poly have been exciting, I guess, but mostly it has been very, very hard on him.

He has posted in the past but I don't think he comes here much anymore. I think he is reluctant to "embrace" poly and it's hard for him to hear the successes -- he is just hoping it will be over soon. Sometimes, so am I.
Formerly married to Sundance
Boyfriend -- Butch Cassidy
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