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Old 07-06-2011, 08:25 PM
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Phy Phy is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 651
Default Everyday transition

Hey Ray,

thank you, you made me smirk with satisfaction and I wriggled on my chair because of pleasance due to your compliment Maybe these are the German influences which are still marked by my professors. I tend to be too wordy and to use too complicated sentence structures. One can go all out in regard to these aspects in German and I really love to write that way. But I try to adapt the other style. I don't need to here, because no one will skim my posts to actually correct them

The transition you mentioned is a strange thing in our case. It kind of happened already with none of us noticing in the past. The biggest surprise for me was when my husband told me, what he thought of the actual situation beforehand: That Lin and I already had established an relationship on the emotional level. He was somehow afraid of the sleeping dogs and wished to let them lie to be on the safer side. So he never spoke about it and Lin being part of our daily life became normal. Like a piece of furniture being always there . Well, it kind of not worked out in his favor but he had this aspect stomached long ago. Sward was aware that there was a deep connection, more than I ever thought he was.

That is the main reason why we discussed living together way before Lin's and my realization of our feelings. Sward wouldn't be able to live with just anyone. He liked Lin before we dropped this bomb in his lab. It didn't take him more than an hour to effectively use the word 'family' when thinking about the consequences of my wishes and desires and the conclusion he had to find concerning Lin. On the third day after my confession he talked with Lin for hours to get all this everyday stuff sorted out. Like best drinking buddies discussing the next jaunt. Except the fact that they were talking about me and Lin getting intimate along those lines... way too fast for my processing in this respect *mumbles* I was sitting in the back, red eared, speechless and grinning from ear to ear Such a complicated and wonderful situation to experience when you expected hell to brake loose after crushing the life of your spouse … life is definitely funny

If they are interested in dating others … well, after my first two posts concerning my double standards I luckily am able to say: No, they are not. Both are at this point in time sure that I am more than enough to handle and sure that they are mono and for the time being want to stay like this. Sward is a bit more open minded than Lin in regard to the whole idea of poly-whichever-of-the-forms it may be. But he thinks that it would be too much stress to actually explore this and he has never felt the urge to do so. As things are now, I think that he could one day get the notion of poly, but I don't think that he will explore it. But, never say never as I have just learned first hand *smirks* I would be in a real pinch if one of them would do so and get another one into our life. Can't imaging handling this situation at this point in time.

And a small incident that occurred this evening: I was really messed up because of all the strain. Chatted with Lin this morning/noon and the discussion stuck because of the obvious tension in the air and I (as always *sigh*) went silent and got lost in thoughts. Positive ones, really positive ones. Lin noticed (as always as well, he seems to have some little antennas that are adjusted to my emotional frequency ) and he left me alone for the rest of the day to calm down a bit. Originally I wanted to talk to Sward to check if he was really doing well with the weekend around the corner but when he came home from work I was so stressed that I started crying and hugged him silently. Nothing dramatically, tears are my way of dealing with too much stress... positive as negative one. The upshot was that I was pampered. When I wanted to relieve his stress, that wasn't there. Yes, of course he isn't sure how well he will take the whole situation but he is confident that everything will be ok. More than I can say about myself.

Last edited by Phy; 07-06-2011 at 09:59 PM.
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