Thread: Sex Addiction
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Old 07-06-2011, 07:54 PM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 497

Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
I know a few guys who secretly fantasize about a 'real nympho' coming along. I have been accused of nymphomania too . Is this by know an old-fashioned, defunct term? I'm bothered with it mainly because in common usage, it seems to refer to any woman who has larger than average interest in sex. When I was called a nympho I pointed out that from my reading, nymphomaniacs are not so much interested in sex itself as in sex with steadily changing flow of partners, meaning that they rarely seek out the same person twice.

I read one woman's story who had lost count of her sexual partners after she hit 5 000 something in her early thirties. She regularly dragged home men from under the bridge with serious hygiene and cognitive coherence issues, and got into commercial sex, not for the money but for the feeling of being desired and wanted she got out of it. She had been raped and mugged multiple times, had every STD in the book and a handful of abortions. She hit her own personal rock bottom when she became involved in the BDSM scene and started out an erotic relationship with another woman. I figured she no longer could justify that behaviour to herself as pleasurable because she had no interest in either, just a compelling need to widen her pool of available partners.

She noted that she got very little out of her contacts when it came to sexual pleasure, since more often the guys were unable to follow through. It was more the feeling of being powerful, of being able to get whom she wanted, just point a finger and say 'You're coming home with me'. In her past she had been sexually abused so for a while, that probably was healing in itself, but I think she got addicted to the feeling and could not figure any alternative ways to achieve the same sense of self-mastery.
And that was kind of my point. It doesn't seem like (from the story you've told) that it was the sex itself she was addicted to, or the "feelings" of orgasms. The fact that she was sexually abused isn't a minor part of this story, it might be the main factor. For her, there could definitely be a usage of sex as either a "connection" with someone, or more likely a way to "control". Especially since she most likely felt so out of control when it came to sex during her formative years. Her way of dealing with that feeling could have been to control others through sex.

Just some thoughts, I don't know this person. My earlier point was that she might have been labeled a "sex addict" when she most likely is a very troubled sexual abuse survivor who needs some help so that she can learn to deal with the sexual abuse without hurting herself. She's not addicted to sex. She compulsively uses sex to feel in control. Again, underlying issues that need to be brought forth and dealth with.

Last edited by Minxxa; 07-06-2011 at 07:55 PM. Reason: Jet lagged, sleepy and apparently can't type correctly.
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