Red-I'm not being a bitch to him. I know how important that is. I just needed to share that I FEEL like nothing I do motivates him to get help.
It's like his blood pressure. He's known for at least a year that he has VERY high blood pressure. He's been in and out of the doctors for a variety of things (severe headaches, stitches where he cut himself at work, severe sinus infections etc) and the doctor tells him all the time he needs to address the blood pressure and get on meds, he won't. He just flat refuses to do anything about it. He may or may not think about it-I don't know because he doesn't talk about it and of course I'm not a mind reader (actually thankfully not!).
So here is this situation which is very serious (as pointed out by River) and he's again seeming to just avoid it. I know how damaging that can be, I know the bigger issues at play and I know that those issues are the reason that he really has no friends at all and has limited bonds with the people in his life through work or family.
But I don't have the ability to FORCE him to get help-as you were saying about your ex. We are in counseling-and we are addressing communication issues-but I think in a large way that is exactly what is triggering this-because as we communicate better those issues are coming to light more and he can't just stuff them if I know about them-but at the same time he doesn't want to face them-so he's at a huge impasse and suicide-well that solution to the impasse is potentially damaging not only for HIM but for me,our kids, our extended families etc.
"Love As Thou Wilt"