Originally Posted by River
A lot of us never learned HOW to deal with our "stuff," our challeges, our difficulties.... There is knowledge and there are skills involved, and it doesn't just drop into your lap automatically. A lot of folks learned to avoid dealing with what we weren't prepared to deal with -- by ignoring it and hoping it will go away, like a headache or a flu/cold. Colds will go away, all by themselves, eventually. But our "stuff"? It doesn't go away, it piles up when not addressed. And then having to address it feals--and is!--overwhelming.
If he's really suicidal, or having suicidal fantasies, he needs to find a psychologist/therapist--and fast. This is serious! He needs help. He's probably intensely stressed and may find it difficult to think clearly. His coping strategy may be breaking down, and that's terribly frightening.
Help him to get help, and waste not a moment. Talk of suicide is definitely a crisis moment. Treat it like a fire in the kitchen. Don't wait for it to go away.
Believe me I'm not wasting a moment. We are already seeing a psychologist for work on communication issues and we go again Friday. I just spent the last hour or so sitting in the shower (yes sitting) talking with him (one place we can lock the door and get privacy from the kids). We had a good talk-but I do think that his issue is significantly caused by a life of "stuffing emotions" instead of dealing with them and now with the me suddenly (it wasn't sudden but it FEELS sudden to him) insisting on being real with each other and being open and honest-there is a LOT of stuff coming up.
I can imagine it's overwhelming-I just lack the knowledge of how I can help if he won't help himself.
I won't wait for it to go away-and I'll be in touch with updates too.