Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG
Show me one on here? Show me a relationship where a partner who has been cheated on has embraced the cheating partner's secret lover. I don't mean tolerated..but has been truly healthy and developed compersion for what their partner has with the person they had an affair with.
Mono; I don't want to speak for Runic Wolf, but I believe that we are healthy and I'm pretty sure that he has more than just compersion for Wendigo; now; 2 years later.....though I didn't have a big long secret affair. I started off above board in what I thought I wanted, was offering Wendigo. But I got hit hard by the NRE train and didn't know how to express to Runic Wolf that I was falling in love, because I didn't know how to admit it to myself. So in a matter of weeks, Wendigo and I progressed from just friends with a specific benefit, to sex w/o Pretty Lady's consent (Runic Wolf kind of sped that along by encouraging me/trying to see how far I'd push the boundaries), to me sneaking him over while Runic Wolf was out of town and then lying about it..... which was STUPID because I had permission from all parties at that point but I was still struggling internally with what it all meant. Thankfully all parties forgave me for lying, getting caught up in NRE, and being generally STUPID (because Wendigo had insisted on honesty too and wasn't too happy with me for lying either).
At this point I am very big on making sure that we are all okay with anyone that I/ we sleep with and that their partner(s) are aware. We had this come up recently as PL and I gifted a friend with a 3 some after he "broke up" with his fiance. Only they ended up not breaking up, getting married, and having a baby w/in 4 months of that night. He never fessed up and we can't tell her because she is soo in denial.