Originally Posted by dingedheart
If you been here for any length of time you see the same pattern or story. I myself have that exact same story...
Thanks my friend, for starting this discussion, it needs to be said.
As for it not happening in 'Healthy' marriages. You bet your hiney it does. I`ve bared witness to it from the close-friend side of things. No one is immune. Who gets to define healthy anyways ? Your version, or my version ? Everyone has weak moments, and goes off the path for awhile.
All it takes is the right ingredients of events, and long-forgotten feelings, ( If you havent dealt with NRE in 15+ yrs, you might be a wee bit rusty in recognizing it, or in handling it correctly.)
If you dont believe that, think of every story you have heard about someone who said ' I thought I was happy in my marriage, just coasting along,..then HE/SHE came along and rocked my world. I feel so aliveeeee with them....'
Marriage goes bust due to these new feelings. Spouse takes off with new flame. Only to have that go up in flames, and them regretting losing their long-term spouse.
So while those who are 'in the know' on NRE, and understand mid-lifing, and what signs to look for, ( and are able to recognize and dodge it,) there are many , many people who do not.
It happens in monogamy, it happens with poly too. People are looking for a new feeling, a new flavour, ..something they havent yet shared, beause they don`t understand it themself.
Sometimes its a new car, sometimes it`s travel , sometimes it's a fancy, new, romantic hobby.