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Old 07-05-2011, 01:09 PM
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Snowdancer Snowdancer is offline
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Washington, DC area
Posts: 59

Originally Posted by Anneintherain View Post
I posted here in early April all excited at how I was going to attempt to try my second ever casual sex relationship - where I thought this guy was nice and I enjoyed his company but I really didn't imagine any romantic feelings happening, and not even sure a friendship would come out of it.

I didn't and don't think I'd consider casual sex relationships not to be poly unless I was going in refusing to let anything happen other than sex. I don't think you have to love all of your partners (whether serious or FWB relationships) in order for them to qualify as poly relationships, just to care about them. Just because it translates as "many loves" doesn't mean you have to in order to be really poly after all. It is also defined as ethical non-monogamy, and even casual sex with somebody you'll never see again falls under that umbrella if it follows your agreements with other partners. Having said that, I have totally contradicted the first sentence of this paragraph - but how I want to be poly excludes many things that can be viewed as poly. All that means is that TO ME I wouldn't consider having sex with somebody I wasn't open to caring about poly, but if somebody else wanted to consider it poly for them, I really shouldn't argue.

I just try to stay aware that everybody has their own ideas of what polyamory is for them. It doesn't make what I think or how I want to live right just because it is what's right for me. It does mean I have a right to choose my own path, and not let people tell me I am wrong because it isn't their path.

I am very glad that I didn't stop myself from attempting to try my definition of casual sex - I really have grown to like this person, and it has been interesting to watch feelings change, and I don't really consider this a casual sex relationship anymore. It is nice to see that everything doesn't have to be so black and white.
I'm happy for you that your casual sex has turned into more!
55 y.o. unmarried straight male w/straight GF wishing to meet women for dating and relationships. Also interested in just meeting people for fun and friendships. Blog and email buddies welcome!
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