Hello and welcome.
Keep on writing. Writing helps me to clarify things in my head so I can speak them clearly once the emotions have passed and the time to speak has come.
You say you are having a hard time telling Sward & Lin (thank you for giving them names, I can't stand initials either) with your voice. Have you considered translating what you have written here and letting them read it for themselves?
There are as many ways to do polyamory as there are people practicing it!