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Old 07-05-2011, 08:21 AM
polyexplorer polyexplorer is offline
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 69

Thanks for people's responses...

Can you indulge me for another moment?....

I can hear the strong values coming through loud and clear. I have the same strong values around openness and honesty.

My concern in it all is that often with strong values can lead to rigidity.

I have come from a religious background that espoused strong values. These values could not be questioned. In order to take the leap of faith that I have and to embrace much of who I am now, including this new poly life, I have had to question alot of my previously unquestionable values.

I still hold to many of the values I had when in my religious life. I had to even "break" some of the values I had that I would still hold on to. These were often exceptional cases, and I would not recommend doing it under normal circumstances, but my journey to break free of alot of burdens that were on me required that I also break values that I would even now still hold on to.

I believe that openness and honesty is a value worth holding on to. I believe that it is the pathway to the greatest relational health. But I also don't want to be too rigid about it. Rigidity creates and cultural and social expectation and pressure that can lead to people not following a pathway or journey that they really need to follow because they can't question the cultural values.

I would not want to see polyamory become such a rigid culture that it creates unquestionable values that keep people locked into a set path. We need to be secure enough within ourselves and our own sense trust to allow people to question even the noblest and highest of values, because for one of us, our journey in exceptional cases may lead us to have to break one of these values. It would be a shame if we could not do so because the social and cultural expectation and pressure was too high...
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