Originally Posted by polyexplorer
I know that I am basically asking is there ever a time when cheating is OK(with the intent of being open and honest when a partner is ready to be told)?
If a person is cognitive enough to consider this question then you are cognitive enough to know that what you would be doing is going to hurt your partner. There's really no excuse for it. Now I do agree that sometimes drastic action has to be taken if your health and sanity are at stake. Which means you might tell your partner that you are going to pursue something regardless of their feelings. But
you tell them first. Now in doing this you have to be fully prepared and take responsibility for the outcome