Originally Posted by Syl
"• ... that's not unusual among poly folk." I'm sorry, I'm not making all of the connections and understanding here. Could you elaborate?
A person can be desirous of a relationship without having a specific person in mind. When you were without a partner of any sort at any time, I suspect you were thinking a relationship would be nice, and that at a time when you hadn't met anybody with whom you wanted a relationship. Odds are that you were *not* completely uninterested in ever getting involved with anybody until somebody came along and got your attention. Even those picky people who are holding out for a mythical "The One" know they want a relationship--and they have no idea with whom.
It's the same for many poly folk. While some poly peeps were happily mono and never wanted an additional romance until somebody came along who knocked their socks off, it's quite different for many of us. We know that we want additional relationships in the exact same fashion that we know we want any one relationship. We may only have a single relationship at any time, yet are open to a new one (or two or three...) in the same fashion we were open to the first when we were single.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.