Magdlyn: the answer to all of your questions are no.
I have pushed for group-settings (non-sexual, just dinner, movie etc) for many reasons, mostly wrong, some too soon.
I made Vanilla and her boyfriend look like bastards in this thread, and it couldn't be further from the truth. I am the one who's called for the group-things, I am the one who's told her it's okey to do this and that...
In short, I have said what I think I can be okey with in the future is okey now. And it's not. Thank the gods that Vanilla is smarter than me, and actually knows me well enough to read my face and voice instead of the words.
Biggest problem with the group-settings is that they haven't happened before, and I've tried implementing something NEW, in addition to actually working on accepting what's happening in the first place.
Re-reading my own life-rules for this, two pop out immediately:
- Don't rush things, don't push them or yourself into anything, things will evolve in due time.
- Don't say anything you're not CERTAIN of is true.
The last one is confusing, because something might SEEM true at the time, but I will have to start writing things down, every thought, every bright idea I have, and analyze them properly an hour later. :-)
Vanilla is the most amazing, wonderful, awesome and loving person I have ever had the pleasure of spending time with, and if I hadn't already disassembled the pedestal, I would have put her back on it. :-)
Mono engaged to poly VanillaCrazyCake
Don't fear god, don't worry about death; What is good is easy to get, and what is terrible is easy to endure.