What are you ashamed of. HElllOOOOO! This is going super fucking fast and you think you should not have emotions! I am damned impressed that you would chose to share this REALLY HARD STUFF with us! You are doing great and really should keep at it the way you are. I hope you are like this with them when you get together. The stuff you talk about here is SO important. It shows you are real and it really affects you. I hope you are talking and expressing your emotions as they come up and as soon as you realize what you need. I hope she is asking you if she is unsure and no one is assuming the other knows what is going on for them or expecting them to guess.
As to the NRE, ya, there is a lot of sucking it up for appropriate times that has to happen. I remember that and still do sometimes. I suck a lot up to be distributed later
It makes it more exciting anyway.
I have a kid. Parents suck a lot of stuff up and then let lose later. Its a survival technique I have perfected and actually enjoy now. It means that good times are extra GOOD! and I can look forward to stuff (I always saved my Halloween candy... I think this helped