Originally Posted by esedkudiln
Can I, respectfully, suggest that you chill for a minute? Whatever upset you, I can assure you it wasn't intentional.
Perhaps I should have ignored the first response I received to my post, which, to me, seemed to question whether I had any "right" to be here, because my fiancee and I aren't "truly" poly. I didn't bring up this issue, but if it's widely felt in this community that the kind of situations I find myself in shouldn't be discussed here, then a simple nudge from the moderators should suffice. Let's not turn this into a mudslinging competition.
I think you missed a key point-the first response was from Mono-who is RedPeppers... um not sure the term, anyway one of the men she's deeply in love with. This response from you is to RedPepper.
If you read through the threads-you will see that their "union" has been under a VICIOUSLY painful attack for a few weeks now by a very near and dear loved one.
So obviously they will both be defensive of one another if for any reason they feel that either is being attacked (human nature).
So while you didn't realize that when you posted-I think maybe part of the issue might be that you didn't take time to read through posts and "get a feel" for who was who, how they are related to one another and what is going on currently with them.
That isn't an uncommon problem in life-we all do it at some point or another. If it happens to be when things are going great for the people in question-no harm, no foul.
But when their lives are in caos already and they are already hurt, defensive and in self-protection mode, well then we tend to get bit.
just like a dog that's been hurt-in trying to help it often you will get bit.
I appreciate your taking time to apologize for being taken wrong. I think that maybe with a little time and patience you will find that in fact the people who replied to you are very kind, considerate people. You just managed to find the exactly wrong button at the exactly wrong time.