I had to check out your intro thread.
I am a lesbian, and my partner, although she hates the label, is "bisexual..."
OK. So you are a mono lesbian and your partner is a poly bi woman. She has a bf and he comes over most days. You've told her she can't see any other women, and her bf says, if he moves in, she can't see other men either!
Yikes. Does she really want to date other women/men? Would she really forget about all other men just b/c the bf moved in?
I can understand if she is used to living in a sort of tribal situation in her upbringing (30 rooms? wow!) that she'd be all la di dah about just one guy moving in with you all. Does she understand you find him immature, pouty and too needy for you to imagine living with him? Does she know you're busy enough raising actual kids (one disabled no less) without taking on his stuff?
Sounds to me like not only do you not want him to move in, you'd really rather he came around less often, and slept at your house less often as well. You find him annoying and you feel he is invading your space, don't you?
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags (poly, F, 60) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 38) since January 2009, living together since 2013
also loving Punk (monogamish, 42, M) since Oct 2015
"Master," (mono, 34), miss pixi's Dom for 2 years