Gosh, if you and your buddy/her lover are gonna get together for an evening to hang out, and they both know that seeing them making out makes you uncomfortable (for now), they should *not* be making out the minute you walk out of the room to pee or get a beer. Then you hear the wet making out and moaning sounds start and end just as you leave and come back? That almost makes it worse.
They should abstain from the mushy stuff when you're in the same house/apt and save the wet kisses for hello and goodbye only, and the real intense stuff for their own one-on-one dates. IMO.
Common courtesy, really. A bit of self control won't kill them. If it bothers them too much to act like adults when you're there, I am afraid your wife's idea of spending cozy evenings with both her her men will not work. She, as the fulcrum of the V, must work to help both of you guys feel comfortable, wanted and desired. NRE is no excuse for rude, inconsiderate behavior.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags (poly, F, 61) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 39) since January 2009, living together since 2013
"Master," (mono, 34), miss pixi's Dom for 3 years