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Old 07-03-2011, 02:03 PM
ClosetPoly ClosetPoly is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Bergen, Norway
Posts: 79
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What is the timeline on your progress? You say you started out holding hands and cuddling, and now you are at a point where kissing is ok, and you snuggle who you want. How long has this taken? I'm starting to think I might be pushing myself into a boundary-setting which will only make things take longer...

I think a weekly scheduled thing actually sounds pretty good, and I have to be open and actually say what I feel and think. We have tried the cool-it-down-thing, and they were *very* good at it, but it just got to me that every time I left the room, they melted and the last thing I heard was "kaplosh" when I left, and then the slow sucking sound of two squids being pulled apart just before I came back in. That made me feel that I was "in the way" simply by being there. I have huge issues with expressing exactly what I want or feel, cause I tend to flail a lot at times, and I debate inside my head what I want vs what I think is "fair" and then it comes out as just a wish to have my mind read. :-)

But yes, maybe a regular thing with a level I'm comfortable at, which actually is cuddling and kissing (in moderation, I'm not ready for makeout-session on the kitchen counter), hug'n'squish now and then etc. I'm still worried though about pushing Vanilla in this, me seeming overly needy etc. As I mentioned, I do realise that she can not possibly have anything close to NRE towards me, but I think 10-15 seconds of isolated focus every now and then can work well. Just to confirm to myself that I am still in her world, even though he's here. :-)
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Mono engaged to poly VanillaCrazyCake

Don't fear god, don't worry about death; What is good is easy to get, and what is terrible is easy to endure.
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