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Old 07-02-2011, 08:14 PM
ClosetPoly ClosetPoly is offline
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Bergen, Norway
Posts: 79

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
When you talk about a group setting, are you referring to group sex or doing social activities as a group? Is there some reason why you feel your partner's other relationship should always involve all three of you? It doesn't have to, you know, although most people would probably recommend a respectful acknowledgement kind of thing. But you don't all have to do everything together all the time... is that what you're asking? I'm just not clear on the question, I guess.
Ah, indeed, Vague McWavypants at your service. See, thing is, he is an old friend of mine, we kinda fell apart when my partner came into my life, I didn't hang with the same group, and we just disappeared for each other. Then we "rediscovered" each other 2-3 years ago, and started hanging. At that time, he was with a girl in a seemingly good and steady relationship. We shared a few parties, my partner and him started chatting online, and things were good. We played a lot of Starcraft and Left 4 Dead online together, really enjoying each others company. Then he got dumped, badly, november last year, and my partner was there for him. Basically she picked up the pieces and helped him back to a normal life. That of course brought them even closer, and he was here a couple of times, we were at his place, just hanging.
Now, my partner has stated that her highest wish is to have a triad, to have both of us around at the same time, as a family. I can see that being pretty fantastic, if I can work through my "stuff". They have alone time, as much as I can arrange, but all of us also wants some group-time, to *be* a family, but it's hard for me to choose, and right now I'm just trying to take a couple of steps back and let them figure out their relationship and burn off some NRE. I don't think I necessarily am ready for any group-setting until I am truly comfortable with them having a relationship, but on the flipside, maybe group-setting would help me deal with that...I don't know, and I'm scared of making the wrong choice and hurting both of them, and myself, in the process. So for now, I'm just letting them have their alone time and we'll see where it's only been a few weeks...
Mono engaged to poly VanillaCrazyCake

Don't fear god, don't worry about death; What is good is easy to get, and what is terrible is easy to endure.
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