It sounds like they are being kind and respectful, but are in NRE over getting married. That isn't easy I imagine for you.
Hold on, the ride is just beginning, weddings are consuming and lead to a lot of selfishness.... in a good way. It is about them. One way of not feeling lessor in this is to go and start planning and doing your own stuff. They are going to be busy for quite awhile. Why not do some things you have put on hold, or find other things of interest. That way you can take yourself out of their NRE and into the relationship you have with yourself.
When you get together with him you can request that the wedding talk be evened out with your talk of all the stuff you are doing in order to create balance. I suspect that when you are self involved, you will be able to achieve compersion and they will be more open to telling you what's going on for them.
Really this is kind of like him starting another relationship that he would be swooning over, just that he is re-kindling the one he already has in terms of marriage plans.
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