From Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living, by Pema Chodron
Only to the degree that we've gotten to know our personal pain, only to the degree that we've related with pain at all, will we be fearless enough, brave enough, and enough of a warrior to be willing to feel the pain of others. To that degree we will be able to take on the pain of others because we will have discovered that their pain and our own are not different. (p. 4)
The basic notion of lojong is that we can make friends with what we reject, what we see as "bad" in ourselves and in other people. At the same time, we learn to be generous with what we cherish, what we see as "good". If we begin to live in this way, something in us that may have been buried for a long time begins to ripen. Traditionally, this "something" is called bodhichitta, or awakened heart. It's something that we already have but usually have not discovered. ...
The basic message of the lojong teachings is that if it's painful, you can learn to hold your seat and move closer to that pain. Reverse the usual pattern, which is to split, escape. ... Lojong introduces a different attitude toward unwanted stuff; if it's painful, you become willing not just to endure it but also to let it awaken your heart and soften you. You learn to embrace it.
If an experience is delightful or pleasant, usually we want to grab it and make it last. We're afraid that it will end. We're not inclined to share it. The lojong teachings encourage us, if we enjoy what we are experiencing, to think of other people and wish for them to feel that. Share the wealth. Be generous with your joy. Give away what you most want. Be generous with your insights and delights. Instead of fearing that they're going to slip away and holding on to them, share them.
Whether it's pain or pleasure, through lojong practice we come to have a sense of letting our experience be as it is without trying to manipulate it, push it away, or grasp it. The pleasurable aspects of being human as well as the painful ones become the key to awakening bodhichitta. (p. 7)