Originally Posted by Silia
So I talked to my boyfriend. He didn't storm out, he didn't get mad, he wasn't even really surprised. He said that he wasn't, but he could maybe work on getting used to me being so. And that there were things we had to talk about, and all, but I was actually the one who did all the crying and freaking out. I feel so much...lighter. We still have a lot to work out, figure out, and it's not like, he's amazingly happy with the whole thing, for example, he's not sure he would be okay with me having other serious long term relationships, but that we'd see how things went. He said that he didn't own me and it wasn't like I'd made a decision once that I would be with him from there on in, but that it was a decision that I made every day. I know he'd be happier if this wasn't the case, but that he wants me to be happy and would be way more worried about me repressing things and that in the future, there might be things he really wasn't okay with and maybe couldn't deal with, but that we had to take things as they come, and that he still loved me.
All in all, it went way better then I could have hoped. Thanks for all your help and advice and I'm fairly sure that I'll probably need it again, as I still have no idea what to do with/about all this, but my boyfriend knows, and he doesn't hate me, and thats enough for me for now.
That's all really great, Silia. Kudos to you for being so brave.
About this low libido thing tho. In a perfect world, your current bf would also be poly, or some form of non-monogamous, so he could get the sex you can't provide. How *does* he deal with your lack of drive, anyway?
Do you think getting involved with the new guy is fair, knowing you don't have much, if any sex drive? Or.... do you think the newness of it all would make you horny for him? How would that work, if you desire the new guy, but not your current bf?
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw
me: Mags, female, pansexual, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, 37