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Old 07-01-2011, 12:07 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,419

Lots of news here!

First, today is Seamus and my first anniversary. We set it as the 1st of July because we never bothered to write down the actual date. I found naked pics that Raga took of me for Sean dated from the 26th of June, but Raga had been fine with sending naked pics since before we even were an open relationship, so it's not enough to know if we were already dating or not. And honestly I'm pretty sure we were not, I remember sending the pictures to him and I remember he wasn't my boyfriend at the time.
Anyways! First anniversary for the two of us. He's working today and due to the time difference we probably won't see each other much, so we'll celebrate this weekend instead.

Other piece of news: I got a phone call from the welfare agency. Now this requires background because I didn't want to talk about it until it was settled. When I got to France I registered as unemployed in the hope they'd help me find a job. They have only sent one offer my way so far, but they also sent me to the welfare place to get some income in the meantime.
I was hoping I'd find work soon enough not to need it, but it's pretty crazy, I've been applying to anything I could find or think of, from selling shoes to selling burgers, and I didn't get a single interview.
Anyways, the welfare agency said they would need a judge settlement to explain why I didn't get alimony from my husband.

See, French law is pretty strong about family stuff. If for instance any of my brothers had a debt, I'd have to pay it if they can't because we're related. That doesn't apply to giving me an alimony, but being married does.
So the agency thought I was trying to commit fraud, getting my alimony and still welfare on top of it. However with divorce by mutual consent, no alimony is paid to either spouse unless there are children (or rather, because it's mutual consent, the spouses decide on the amount themselves and can set it to zero).
So after emails and phone calls and stuff, I managed to explain that the Canadian equivalent to mutual consent (that doesn't require Raga to fly to France to show up at the courthouse, like the French one does) requires a year separation, and that it's only been six months, but we'd be divorced already otherwise, so the law about him having to support me should apply as though we were divorced already.

They're willing to consider it, if I can send a copy of the separation agreement (which I have) as well as official proof of the Canadian law about needing to have been separated for a year to divorce without fault (which I don't have but I'm hoping to be able to obtain soon. If anyone from Canada knows how I can go around that, it would be greatly appreciated).

So that's a relief. The welfare isn't huge (pays for my half of the rent and bills in social housing meant for just one person), but I don't know what I'd do without it, as Raga kept the Canadian money, and we spent most of the French one getting to Canada in the first place. As it is, even with welfare I'll be a bit more in the hole ever month so I'm keeping my fingers crossed about getting a job.

Speaking of jobs, Sean got a promotion and raise! He's only been at his new job for less than 4 months, so it's pretty amazing (a 10% raise, too, not "just" like 2% or something). The raise will start in August (so, next month) and he's decided to save it up for getting me to the US and later for the wedding. Since my original plan of putting money aside while I'm here seems compromised right now, it's definitely very good. Plus it helps with the fact that his mom (who lives with him) lost her job last month and can't get on full disability yet.

Mmh... I think that's pretty much it. The main stress for me is money right now, what with some debt (oh, yeah, my parents contacting me saying I owe them money, apparently, including some debt in Raga's name) plus lack of a reliable income, but I'm glad that whenever I worked I always put half of it aside, so that I have a tiny bit left right now.

I also contacted Raga, since the separation agreement stated that he would keep the money that's in Canada and I'd keep the money that's in France: way back when we lived in France, I transferred half of my savings to an account in his name because savings accounts that had a lot of interest had a maximum amount of money and mine was barely over, so I split it half and half, thinking this way it could sit for years and gather interest.
But because it's in his name I can't get it back, so I went to the bank to ask what he'd have to do and then emailed him about it.

Money is annoying. I always feel bad complaining about it because it sounds cheap and petty, and I feel bad talking about it when everything is going fine because I know some other people are struggling. But I guess most of my news this time around was about money, and I really wanted to keep you guys up to date with stuff.
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