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Old 07-01-2011, 01:58 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,633
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So I have been figuring out what to say about my date with Leo... we sat and watched an old movie, made nachos before hand and drank some wine... it was lovely. We relaxed and enjoyed each others company. We did chat about what happened during out "fight" and how to approach things next time. I think really he is a very simple man and I try to complicate things. He likes his monthly date, likes that we text often and that he has me as a "girlfriend" not partner. Whatever that means. I am not going to over analyse, just enjoy it.

I think that really I have let go a bit of this ever being something more than it is. I was hoping for more support and being loved through "acts of service" but not to be. Nor will I be loved through "touch" so that is out... I still have, ya, I don't know, but I'm sick of trying to figure it out. I think I have been over thinking so I am letting it go.

Sooooo, I'm sick today. PN is bringing home poutine! YUM I wonder how many people know what that is? Mono looked after me this afternoon by watching the second season of "United States of Tara" with me. Love that show. LB cuddling me on the couch while I do my best not to get snot on him.

This weekend is packed full of goodness as usual. Drag ball tomorrow for the beginning of pride week, then a friends BBQ, then fireworks for Canada day. Next day we are having a BBQ at which Derby will hopefully stay over in my bed Then on Sunday I will reeeellllaaaaxxx... I hope.

Have to get going on our camp out next weekend and another Burlesque show... this show has a summer theme and I have a really cute blue 50's bathing suit with white birds flying over it to break out three weeks count down.

Mono, PN and I went to see the new Transformers movie last night. We lined up in front of a woman and her two older sons. She joked about her house of men. I told her we all lived together and raised a boy together. She didn't even bat and eye. She was pretty self absorbed though. I just don't really care any more.

I listened to Mono tell his co-worker that showed up here today that he is going to drag ball... he teased the guy about whether or not he wanted to go... the guy was confused and laughed it off. It's tiring being closeted. Fuck it.
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