Seriously it hasn't been all cupcakes with sprinkles. I will admit that yes I did cheat on Jewel a couple of times with Lover. During our "break", but I think she loosely knew, and was trying on the "don't ask, don't tell approach". There were times when Jewel didnít even want to eat dinner with me. Times she yelled at me for supposedly sleeping on the other side of the bed in a distant way. In the break period when she wanted me to stop being sexual with Lover she called me loose, a nice way of saying I was being a whore. It was like feeding me and calling me fat. Why open the door then when I feel it is safe call me a whore? Me who sees Lover once a week if I am lucky enough to get the space. Me who has been Jewels first partner, who hasn't ever even thought of another relationship for years!!! Talk about fucking with my head, and probably why I still have pangs of guilt.
She is sensitive. Obviously this is a sensitive matter. When I left to try to make money at the garage sale, I guess I didn't say bye right or emotional enough? But she turned around and hurt me were I am sensitive. Not about the relationship with lover, but with my relationship with life. I don't think she even knows. For the biggest part I am the man of the house. I am the one that does most of the dirty work. I face the world head on so she can stay in her safe zone. But I am still a girl. There are times that I need to let that loose. I think that Jewel can sometimes be selfish forgetting that I am a girl too. Times are hard no doubt. There is stress all around. We are homesteading, and in a terrible drought.
I need cookies now. I will go make some chocolate chip cookies.
I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.