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Old 06-30-2011, 09:22 AM
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Breathesgirl Breathesgirl is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 833

Originally Posted by ray View Post
For instance, the person I'm currently interested in, seems to have have a habit of saying that he wants to hang out on a certain day but then having other things run late, gets tired, doesn't have the energy to hang out. But also, doesn't let me know this or lets me know too late so I can't make plans with anyone else. It's driving me absolutely crazy and I find it to be hurtful and inconsiderate.

Still, I haven't been able to say a word about it. Because I feel bad. Afraid that if I say anything, he'll just tell me I'm being overly sensitive or being worried that maybe he just doesn't want to hang out with me.
I don't like to rock the boat either (not that I don't when the occasion warrants it).

Possibility (secondary) is chronically forgetful. I HATE it when someone doesn't give me enough notice so that I can find something else to do or so that I can mentally change gears. It took me two years of emailing him the night before or the day of to make sure we were still on for that night for him to remember that we had a date that night (with the rare exception it's always the same night of the week).

Maybe you could email him (if he's in the position of being able to periodically check it) or call him a few hours before you're supposed to meet so you can get a feel for how he's feeling and hopefully get an appropriate response, whether it's yes or no.

Maybe all it will take to correct this situation is gentle reminders that you DO have plans together and you really want to be with him.

I'm glad you had a talk with him and hope positive things happen because of it .
There are as many ways to do polyamory as there are people practicing it!
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