Red pepper made a post bringing up a point that I would have never thought of. Metamour love. The connection Jewel and Lover have. The friendship grew and stuck before the dynamic shifted.
How I am proud of Jewel and Lover with their Metamour love. They were friends before and now they are even stronger friends. They face arising issues head on together. They can be alone together working and talking. Sometimes I wonder what they say about me.
No weirdness, no power trips, just brandy and coffee.
Jewel talked to him on the phone today as I was headed out to go see him. I didn't know this tell I seen him waiting with the air compressor to fill up my tire. Jewel and I were talking about how my tire was low. Jewel I found out way later thanked him so much for being such a help in the family (non relationship related), and seeing us through a tough time we had at the beginning of the year.
So he was for once happy, and relaxed. I was healing from a rough week, and he was there for me. I made him coffee. He kissed me. I pushed him down and kissed him some more. Lover giggles as I can't seem to keep my paws out of his pants for more than two seconds. I finally got my way with him. Like he is going to complain.
As I was headed home I felt guilt creeping up on me. I had been gone for four hours. It is 15-20 min there. We cuddle and screw for two hours min. His version of a quickie. I like to give him lots of energy, and just hang for a couple of hours min. Anyway all this is going through my mind as I am headed home on the dusty roads at 730pm.
I quickly realize this time obsession is ridiculous as Jewel greats me at the gate happy as a new puppy to see me. I relax into her arms and kiss her. Nobody has minded my absence. Instead, Jewel talks about hanging out with the woogie (2 year old) and having fun. 7 year old, The Dew, is hanging in her own world.
Its okay. Everyone is okay. I must tell myself it is okay for me to enjoy myself. Which I did enjoy every min. Lover enjoyed every min. If I get my weekly sleepover I will tell myself this motherly worry is okay, but I am not going to let it eat at me. Jewel is my other half and she does a great job of managing while I am gone. Its no big deal. There is no reason for the guilt. Jewel loves me, understands me, and wants to be with me. New goal: relax!!