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  #14  
Old 06-30-2011, 04:21 AM
Jericka Jericka is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: California
Posts: 50
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I haven't been poly for very long, but, there are a few things that help me and might help you.

Figure out what you want, and ask for it. You may not get it, but, knowing what you want and being able to communicate it is important. Poly relationships aren't set-and-forget or one size fits most. Boundaries, rules and deal breakers vary by person.

Next, he's worried that you might be too into him....moreso than he is into you? If you had another relationship going as well, and he was aware, he might relax. I think one of the reasons my situation is as smooth as it is, is because the wife of my lover knew that I was seeing someone in addition to him. I was already seeing someone. Therefore the fear that I might try to corral her husband for myself never came up.

Communication helps. We work out schedules and who sleeps where. The rules are out in the open and I deal well with his wife. I know when he's on a date and don't bother him with texts then. However, I also know that if I text him, his phone doesn't ring. I could send a text if I had to and he'd see it when he could check without bothering the person that he's out with.

You might or might not be poly, but, you don't have to date just one guy exclusively. I'd be honest to any potential partners, and use protection for sex, but not being exclusive might be good. I think there are a couple of relationships in my past that I could have done better if I had played the field a bit and not done the serial monogamy game.
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