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Old 10-14-2009, 02:51 PM
esedkudiln esedkudiln is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
but to come on here and basically tell us that our hard earned experience is shit is really not making me feel like I want to continue any conversation with you.
I'm taken aback by this. Where did I give you that impression?

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I have been in every configuration of relationship dynamic and now find myself in something that is filled with love and commitment. It is a poly relationship. I am feeling hurt that you would come on here and lesson what I have worked so hard to achieve by telling me through your "cherry picked" version, that your fiances one night stand is poly.
You really are upset, and I'm sorry about that. But I think you're upset for the wrong reason. I am not here to teach anybody anything, and I'm surprised that's how you read my posts.

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Your thread doesn't seem to have a question. It seems to be a story of what you think is poly.
No, that's not the question at all. The questions are these:

Quote:
Originally Posted by esedkudiln View Post
So here's the dilemma. My fiancee did something that wasn't against any rules we had set together. It was against her own "rule" or intention to remain monogamous with me. I'm not upset, but should I be? Would she have expected or wanted me to be upset? Is her (alcohol-induced) fling a bad omen for our relationship? How can I turn the negative sentiment into something positive?

...

Any ideas? Should I be happy? Should I be worried?
Can I, respectfully, suggest that you chill for a minute? Whatever upset you, I can assure you it wasn't intentional.

Perhaps I should have ignored the first response I received to my post, which, to me, seemed to question whether I had any "right" to be here, because my fiancee and I aren't "truly" poly. I didn't bring up this issue, but if it's widely felt in this community that the kind of situations I find myself in shouldn't be discussed here, then a simple nudge from the moderators should suffice. Let's not turn this into a mudslinging competition.
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