Yes. When I was willing and he, al the while saying fair would only be fair while taking a pass on any option for a guy in the mix, I never got to the point of imagining what aspects of sex between men I was or wasn't comfortable with. He seemed all feet dragging so I shelved it. No point in dwelling on what didn't seem would happen. No point in seeking out anything, porn or information, surrounding a group play scenario that involved homosexual acts between men. I felt if I did I might become even more interested in it and get even more upset that he wouldn't reciprocate.
Not to mention my gay male friends all telling me the worst position a woman could be in in a relationship is with a "bi" male. They didn't believe in such a thing. Only men who had not accepted their homosexuality yet. He didn't seem willing and my friends were telling me that was a GOOD thing. That pushing for reciprocity in the name of fairness was a risk of opening a can of worms he would never come back from if he had any gay leanings. Like oh oh its so good he won't want you anymore if you do that.
I am getting a better idea of what he is interested in having happen by asking about his bad threesome experience. Why was it bad that they continued without him? Why did he leave the room if he didn't want that to happen? How much of it being bad was about them continuing without him and how much was it about fearing rejection if he tried anything with the guy? If he'd asked and the guy had wanted to as well, what would he have wanted to happen? Some sexy talk about it while I take note of what seems to really turn him on about sex with a man and group play with me and another guy. I still don't really know what is or isn't sexually appealing about it to me either. Im in info gathering mode and numbed for the down the rabbit hole way this has been brought to my attention.
I've made it clear that I am still uncertain about participating and I'm tired of bending to his ever changing interests. He needs to think on it. I agree with the poster who suggested he get comfortable with this solo before asking me to rethink my stance on group play. Is he sure he wants me participating ot is that just about gaining acceptance of others for his sexuality? Besides, I have another relationship where his feelings on the matter do factor in to some extent. He is a bit troubled about to what end group play will effect our association. Will I be dating a third since I don't really get down with the casual sex deal anymore? Does my partner expect him to participate? Neither of them are attracted to each other. My secondary has no bi experience and no urge for it.