Scared to be honest
So you guys know the...saga of me, my intro to poly, and my new guy's insistence that I get involved in group sex.
I've really been thinking, and the closer our next meeting gets, the more apprehensive I get. I just think it's going to be WAY TOO MUCH for me. I already know that I can't watch him have sex with anyone else significant in his life, but I am afraid that he's going to try to put me in a situation where there will be chances for random encounters, and I don't think I am ready for that.
The thing is, I REALLY like this guy. He's been mpre honest, consistent, attentive, affectionate, etc. than any other person I've ever been in a relationship with, and we really do have great times together (when it's just us). I understand his need to have relationships with other women, and it appears that he has a need to be involved in group sex, and if he needs to indulge that with someone else, I am OK with that as well...
But I'm afraid he's going to dump me if I tell him that I am not ready to be pushed into another possible group sex situation just yet. I'm not saying I won't ever come around (but I would like him to be OK with that if it becomes the case), but I hadn't even heard of polyamory until a couple of months ago (I think I've adjusted well), and I feel like group sex is a recurring theme..
The weird part is that I showed him a side of me that I didn't know existed before he really started pushing. I had had a few drinks and we were in a very sexually charged atmosphere and I connected with a beautiful woman and in my "altered" state told him it would be OK if he wanted to invite her back to the room with us. He didn't pursue that, but the next time we saw each other we had the unfortunate threesome incident.
So... what am I doing? I don't want him to think I am swinging back and forth (no pun intended), but I really don't want to be placed in a situation where I will be uncomfortable not only for my own sake but for the other people involved. I don't want to be the party pooper so to speak by sitting on the sidelines with that deer caught in headlights look on my face.
On the other hand, I am afraid that this is a requirement for him (he keeps saying it isn't, but he also keeps trying to place me in group sex scenarios)..
Am I not open minded enough for this?
I'm not even going to say I'm totally OPPOSED to entertaining a group sex situation down the road, I just feel like I am being pushed. I feel like he is taking the training wheels off too soon.
I don't want to lose this guy, but I don't want to compromise myself just for the sake of having him around either. What do I do??