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Old 06-28-2011, 10:38 PM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Near Disneyland
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Originally Posted by ClosetPoly View Post
I'm just finding it hard to think of things I don't desperately want to share with her. We've been together for 13 years and overlap each other basically 100% in interests. Everything we do, we have done together, which I think makes this extra hard to deal with. Right now I'm exhausted from lack of sleep, and stuff is harder to deal with than normal...
Do you have any friends that aren't both of your friends? When my marriage hit it's low last year and I realized (as we were fixing things) that I didn't really have any friends that weren't "his" friends also. This made things worse for me, because no matter how bad things got, I didn't feel like I could share some of the real bad stuff for fear of how it would effect his realtionship with them. I had spent 19 years creating my life around his activities and we had a lot of "joint" friend, so no matter how understanding they claimed to be, they were still joint friends. It wasn't that I really wanted to share all the gory details, just I didn't feel safe because I didn't want to "air our dirty laundry", even by accident or appearing too sad, to his/our friends. I discovered I had done myself a dis-service by not maintaining or nurturing at least a few seperate friendships. I had isolated myself.
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