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Old 06-28-2011, 06:04 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

I didn't go back to re-read, but I do recall in your earlier posts that you mentioned Romeo thought of poly or non-monogamy as a temporary thing until you guys get married. You expressed a little unease about that, but perhaps you put some blinders on and didn't really want to address his position on it, when you were all excited about having another relationship in your life.

Well, hon, here it is smack-dab in your face. Whatever we resist (or avoid), persists!

It looks like Romeo thinks of non-monogamy as some kind of extra activity, recreational, fun, non-serious, that you agreed to do until it's out of your system. Then he didn't like how it went down with Knight and he feels that you aren't ready for being engaged and working toward building married life together. In his eyes, you just want the fun. So, he's like, "okay, forget the engagement, she's not serious about it."

It seems to me that you both need to sit down together and have a serious talk about how you define all the things you want in life, what being non-monogamous truly means to you, what marriage means, and how you can come together in the middle and see if you can find a compromise that will make you both happy, or at least satisfied. Perhaps you should take a break from Knight until it all gets hashed out, I don't know. Maybe not -- maybe Romeo needs to see that you can have more than one guy in your life and still be committed to him at the same time.

But instead of focusing on "why are we not engaged anymore," focus on "how do you envision our lives together unfolding?" and "what do you want for the future?" and "what is most important to you?" Things like that.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

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Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 06-28-2011 at 06:06 PM.
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